Thursday, March 3, 2011

Sure Cure for Jealousy

Anonymous asks... 
Do you have any wise words to say to help me not be jealous of all my friends, who all seem to have all the things I want but am apparently unable to attain? I want to be happy for my friends, but it’s hard to get over myself sometimes.
Well, I could tell you that everyone has their own form of trials they are going through, even if you can’t see them, so don’t be so quick to assume your friends are living perfect lives. I could also tell you that compared to some people your life isn’t that bad at all and you should count your blessings. I could even say, “At least you’re not Charlie Sheen”

I won’t tell you these things, or at least not anymore than I already have, because…

   1. You’ve already heard them.
   2. They didn't help or make you feel any better.

I don’t want to leave you without any wise words, so I’ll dig a little deeper to address your question. The real issue here may be that you feel you are not in control of your own destiny. You may believe on some level that life just happens to you and you’re along for the ride. With this belief, seeing your friends have what you want would make life seem unfair. Why did life give them a great job, and not me? On the other hand, if you believe you are in control of every aspect of your life and have confidence in your abilities, when your friend lands a great job you’ll think, “Good for him! He deserves it. He earned it.”

Take ownership of your life. If your life isn’t exactly what you want it to be, make it what you want it to be. It doesn’t matter what your friends, coworkers, or neighbors do. They have no power over your life. Try it out. It may be scary at first, but once you develop confidence in yourself, it will be liberating.

This advice isn't just for you by any means. Everyone feels the same way at times, so I want to conclude with some more wise words for you and all of us who would benefit from them.

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice: It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. - William Jennings Bryan

There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul. - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Control your own destiny or someone else will. - Jack Welch

We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny. But what we put into it is ours. -- Dag Hammarskjold

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. -- William Shakespeare

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