Forget the Golden Rule

Okay, forgetting it completely could be a little rash, but let's take a close look at it. Although it is phrased differently across the globe and throughout history, I typically hear it said, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." What's wrong with that?

First off, people don't like to be treated the same. If you look at specific cases it may not work. For example, when I'm sick, all I want is to be left alone. I want to get in bed, watch Seinfeld, and try to forget how miserable I feel. So, when I was first married, I followed the Golden Rule and afforded my wife privacy and solitude when she was sick. BIG MISTAKE! I only made her more miserable because I added abandonment to her list of ailments. That's because when SHE is sick she wants nothing more than company and comfort from other people.

Maybe we should rephrase the Golden Rule to be, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you...if you were them." The other option is to only apply the Golden Rule very generally, but that's watering it down to  "be nice to people". Or we could rephrase it to , "Do what other people want you to do", but that would backfire pretty quickly.

Of course, the Golden Rule is still a good thing. I just caution you to use it carefully. Make sure you are truly helping the person you intend to help.