This Ten Minute Fix is meant to give your echoic memory a break and practice LISTENING to people you're speaking with. It's simple.
Dedicate ten minutes to listening carefully to what someone is saying.
What is their body language telling you? Why are they saying what they're saying? What questions can you ask to gain a deeper understanding of their message?
Here are some tips to being a good listener that you can employ during these ten minutes.
- Remove any distractions. Turn off the TV. Move away from the computer. Put down the chainsaw.
- Make eye contact, but don't stare.
- Keep your mouth shut. As the listener, you are only allowed to speak if you are summarizing what they said to make sure you understand, reassuring the speaker, or asking meaningful questions. Unless it's asked of you, now is not the time to share your own similar experiences. If you do share an experience, keep it brief and redirect the attention to the speaker.
- Listen between the lines for what isn't being said directly.
- Concentrate. Don't think about what you want to say later, and don't judge or criticize the speaker in your mind.
- Avoid any phrases that can make light of a problem. "It's not that bad", "You'll get over it", "Other people have it a lot worse".
- Focus all your effort on making them feel understood and appreciated.