We have this new lineup on the Vaughn Life Coaching Blog, so I thought I'd share my thoughts on how one might get the most out of it. My vision for this blog is that it will become a form of life coaching for former clients, future clients, or anyone who wants some guidance/entertainment, but doesn't want to jump right in to one on one coaching. Here are some guidelines for each day of the week that will help make this vision possible.
Motivation Monday - This day is for getting pumped up and excited for the week. You can read the thought, story, or tidbit I've posted and think about your goals for the coming week and how you might build and maintain your enthusiasm. Alternately, you can watch an episode from the first season of Seinfeld.
Q&A Tuesday - This is the day I answer your questions! Feel free to read and learn from other people's questions and experiences, or you can submit your own question. This prevents me from only focusing on the same topics over and over again, allowing me to focus more on your needs. No matter what question I answer that week, try to find something that applies to your goals. Alternately, you can watch an episode from the second season of Seinfeld.
Wild Card Wednesday - Wednesday is for things that may not fit in the other days. Things like videos, art, stories, poetry, reviews, special announcements, or rants. Evaluate the progress you've made on your goals and see if the wild card post gives you any ideas on improving your goals or setting new ones. Alternately, you can watch an episode from the third season of Seinfeld.
Sticky Note Thursday - You've worked hard, so take a break today and enjoy whatever nonsense I've written or drawn on a sticky note. I cannot guarantee it will be funny, but laughing is good for you, so you should do it regardless. Alternately, (and perhaps preferably) you can watch an episode from the fourth season of Seinfeld.
Fix it Friday - The new home of the Ten Minute Fix. Doing good things doesn't have to take as long as we think. That's why we post ideas of activities and projects that only take ten minutes. You can always spend more time if you have it, but spending just ten minutes will be enough to make a significant difference. So, read the ten minute fix and give it a try today, this weekend, or next week. If you feel the ten minute fix doesn't apply to you, check out the archives or redo one you particularly enjoyed in the past. Alternately, you can watch an episode from the fifth season of Seinfeld.
The Weekend - No new posts, so you can check out the archives, evaluate your progress, work on your goals, and plan for the coming week. Oh, and you should have some fun! It's the WEEKEND for crying out loud!
With your help I would also love for this to become a community where people can share ideas and grow together. It all starts with participation. Leave comments, "like" Vaughn Life Coaching on Facebook, submit your questions, and email your stories and experiences to kyle@vaughnlifecoaching.com
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
The Best Way to Organize Your Time
It's Q&A Tuesday, where I answer your questions about self/marriage/career/life/whatever-improvement. If you have a question, be sure to submit it! On to this week's question."What's the best way to organize my time?"
The answer to this question is the same as the answer to "What is the best diet?"...The one that you'll actually do. The most important aspect of time organization is that you do it. As long as you're thinking about your time and how you should use it, you can't go wrong.
Now if you're detail oriented you can develop a system where you plan out your day to the minute based on your goals and priorities, and then do a nightly evaluation and planning meeting. You could have everything you need to do sorted by due date and importance. You could have charts, lists, and reminders with you at all times. You could also have weekly, monthly, quarterly, and yearly planning meetings for short term, mid range, and long term goals.
If that sounds like WAY too much work and you'd rather not spend all your time planning how to use your time, maybe a simpler system would be right for you. If you know there's a couple hours every day when you watch TV just because there's nothing else to do, you could make a simple plan for those two hours. At the beginning of the week jot down a few things you need to do or would like to do. Then work on that list during those two hours. BAM! In only a few minutes you have a plan to use your time more wisely.
Unfortunately, most of us have a problem with not enough time, and not what to do with our extra time. This is where prioritization becomes really important. I like the system described by Stephen Covey with his Urgent/Important Matrix (example below).
It divides up things we do into Important and Urgent, Important but not Urgent, Urgent but not Important, and neither Urgent nor Important. The boxes are labeled based on priority. To be productive we should spend most of our time in box 2. Occasionally something urgent will come up, but since we take care of things before they become urgent, only unexpected things should be in this box. If you spend all your time in box 1 you're constantly putting out fires due to poor planning. If you live in box 4 you're someone who tends to look for any reason to not be working. I know in college I spent a lot of time in box 4. To avoid homework, I'd get on Facebook, get something to eat, or just stare out the window. If you live in box 3 you are in a hectic environment and need to delegate responsibility or set clear boundaries so you can get some work done.
If you look online you can find a lot of resources on time management. You could also pick up Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-free Productivity by David Allen from your local library. Try out some systems and then when you find one that works for you, stick with it. Consistency is the key.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Finding and Strengthening your Passion
For this Motivation Monday, let's find our passion. People in general are passionate about the strangest things. With all the talk of hurricanes this past weekend, I would see hurricane experts give their opinions and analysis on the news. These guys live and breathe hurricanes. They obsess over patterns within a storm, historical trends, and guessing when they will form, where they will hit, and how much damage they will do. I'm sure glad they have this passion for hurricanes and weather in general because people like them give us advanced warning so we can get away from danger in time.
So, what's your passion? What is that activity or topic that gets you all excited just thinking about it? That thing that turns you into "that guy who just won't shut up" when it comes up at a party? That thing that you could spend all day working on, so you have to set alarms to remember to eat and sleep?
If you can't think of it right away, give it some time. You may need to start with what you like, study it, learn more about it, and tell people about it. The key to really turning something you like into a passion is the ability to share it with others, and more specifically, help others with it. If you're a car guy, don't just read about cars. Help people work on their cars or teach them about cars. Then your enjoyment of all things automobile will turn into a passion that blesses your life along with the lives of others.
To emphasize the importance of passion in a productive life, here are some of my favorite quotes on the topic. Know of any more quotes you like? Please share them in the comments!
So, what's your passion? What is that activity or topic that gets you all excited just thinking about it? That thing that turns you into "that guy who just won't shut up" when it comes up at a party? That thing that you could spend all day working on, so you have to set alarms to remember to eat and sleep?
If you can't think of it right away, give it some time. You may need to start with what you like, study it, learn more about it, and tell people about it. The key to really turning something you like into a passion is the ability to share it with others, and more specifically, help others with it. If you're a car guy, don't just read about cars. Help people work on their cars or teach them about cars. Then your enjoyment of all things automobile will turn into a passion that blesses your life along with the lives of others.
To emphasize the importance of passion in a productive life, here are some of my favorite quotes on the topic. Know of any more quotes you like? Please share them in the comments!
Passion rebuilds the world for the youth. It makes all things alive and significant.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.
--Nelson Mandela
Without passion you don't have energy, without energy you have nothing.
--Donald Trump
Nothing is so intolerable to man as being fully at rest, without a passion, without business, without entertainment, without care.
--Blaise Pascal
Cows are my passion. What I have ever sighed for has been to retreat to a Swiss farm, and live entirely surrounded by cows - and china.
--Charles Dickens
Friday, August 26, 2011
A Smile's Worth a Thousand Words
- Pen and Paper (or the computer equivalent)
- A face (preferably with a mouth)
- Other People (friends, family, or acquaintances)
- Write down 3 or more people you want to smile at
- Make a conscious effort to show them those pearly whites throughout the day.
- Record your thoughts on smiling.
- How it made a difference for you.
- How you think it may have made a difference for the recipients of your happy smiling face.
- Was it hard?
- Did your smiles feel sincere?
- Did people smile back?
A smile makes me feel pretty darn good. When someone looks genuinely happy to see me, I like them. I guess I’m pretty easy to win over in that way. All you have to do is pretend to like me and I’ll like you back. But I don’t think I’m the only one. We like to be liked and like those who like us. Just try to ignore how selfish and egotistic that sounds.
Receiving a smile isn’t the only thing that makes me feel good. The act of smiling alone is enough to brighten my day. It’s especially powerful when I’m smiling at someone else. That’s because when I smile, they get the impression that I like them, so they smile, and I get the impression that they like me, and we all feel great! (Of course, when I say “like” I mean accept, tolerate, have a good feeling about, appreciate, or love depending on the situation. I say this just to clarify that a smile to or from my wife means something different than a smile exchanged with the checkout clerk at Wal-Mart.)
I even smile on the phone. It keeps me in the right mood during a coaching session. I pace around my little office smiling, and talking with my hands as if my client were standing in front of me. It keeps me engaged and helps me listen better.
What are your thoughts on smiling? I'd love to read them in the comments!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Psych!
Mark-Paul Gosselaar will be his Secretary of State, and Mario Lopez will be his Secretary of Defense.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Enough Already!
"When is enough...enough? Will there ever be a point where I'm satisfied with the money I make, or things I own, or things I do? If I decide I'm happy with where I am, does that mean I stop progressing? If I'm never satisfied, I'll probably achieve more, but at what cost?"
I'm going to start with a definition.
Complacent: Showing smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one's achievements.
You absolutely, positively, 100% SHOULD be satisfied with who you are and what you have, but under no circumstances should you ever be COMPLACENT. Being complacent means overlooking serious defects or problems that need correcting. It's a false sense of satisfaction that hinders future progress and growth.
It may feel like these are the only options...
1. Be happy with who you are and never accomplish anything great.
2. Not be happy with who you are and simultaneously increase in achievement and misery.
...but luckily that's not the case!
You can be happy with where you are while looking forward to where you will be. That's the beauty of progress. As long as you're moving in the right direction, you can be satisfied.
So when is enough...enough? When your priorities change. For example, when you have enough money to stop living paycheck to paycheck and decide that spending time with your family is more important than getting a second job, you have enough money.
Be proud of what you've achieved while at the same time looking forward to everything you will achieve. It will probably take a real paradigm shift to begin thinking this way, so give it time. Concentrate on gratitude for what you have while you work towards more.
Complacent: Showing smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one's achievements.
You absolutely, positively, 100% SHOULD be satisfied with who you are and what you have, but under no circumstances should you ever be COMPLACENT. Being complacent means overlooking serious defects or problems that need correcting. It's a false sense of satisfaction that hinders future progress and growth.
It may feel like these are the only options...
1. Be happy with who you are and never accomplish anything great.
2. Not be happy with who you are and simultaneously increase in achievement and misery.
...but luckily that's not the case!
You can be happy with where you are while looking forward to where you will be. That's the beauty of progress. As long as you're moving in the right direction, you can be satisfied.
So when is enough...enough? When your priorities change. For example, when you have enough money to stop living paycheck to paycheck and decide that spending time with your family is more important than getting a second job, you have enough money.
Be proud of what you've achieved while at the same time looking forward to everything you will achieve. It will probably take a real paradigm shift to begin thinking this way, so give it time. Concentrate on gratitude for what you have while you work towards more.
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