Fear

Happy Halloween!

I figured fear would be an appropriate topic for this week's Motivation Monday.

Fear as a Motivator
This is the healthy kind of fear. This is the fear of failure and embarrassment that makes you practice your speech 20 times before the big presentation. It's the fear of death that motivates you to avoid dangerous situations. This kind of fear is no problem and we should do our best to preserve it, but the other kind of fear is the one we should work to overcome.

Fear as a De-Motivator
This is the bad kind of fear. This is the fear of failure and embarrassment that causes you to freeze and stutter as you give your speech during the big presentation. It's the fear that prevents you from participating in normal activities. Fear can limit us so much that we need strong motivation to overcome it. As a kid, I was shy enough that going door to door in a silly costume would have terrified me any other day, but I had a strong motivation to combat that fear. CANDY! Okay, it wasn't just the candy. I also wanted to do what other kids did and have fun with my friends. That desire for candy and time with my friends was strong enough for me to overcome my fear. For every fear we need to overcome, we need a motivator stronger than that fear.

"When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."
-- Bill Cosby

Stop Junk Mail

Ten Minute Fix: Opt out of credit card offers.

It's easy! You'll have less junk mail. You'll lower your risk of identity theft. And you can always opt back in if you decide you miss discover, visa, and mastercard's daily greetings. 

Here's what you do.

1. Go to this address www.optoutprescreen.com. It's run by the people who are making money off of these offers, so they'll try and convince you of the many benefits of receiving junk mail. Don't bother reading any of it because it's all complete garbage.

2. Click the "Click Here to Opt-in or Opt-out" button at the bottom of the page.

3. Choose "Electronic Opt Out for Five Years" (This one can be done online. For a permanent opt out you can send something in by mail, but I like to save the stamp and just do it again in five years)

4. Fill out the form with the required information and click the "confirm" button.

If you want to reduce junk mail even more, go to www.dmachoice.org. Here you can set preferences with the Direct Marketing Association which represents 3,600 companies that like to send you junk mail.

What would you do?

As far as I can remember I've never had a Klondike Bar for this very reason, but after trying to draw one, it actually looks pretty good. I think I'll buy a box, and if I don't like them, I'll walk around seeing what I can get people to do for my leftovers.

Bear Hug

I know I'm posting a lot of videos, but there are just SO MANY good ones! This one made me tear up a little. It's really great.

Wake Up Happy

"I'm not a morning person, but that doesn't change the fact that I have to be at work by 7 AM. Any advice on how to make my mornings a little less miserable?"

Mornings can be tough. When that alarm goes off, it's tempting to ignore it for a few minutes and then stumble out of bed, stumble into the shower, stumble to the car, stumble into work, and then fully wake up around lunch time. Here are some tips you can consider:

Go to bed early. You know when you have to wake up. You know you should be getting close to eight hours of sleep. You know when you SHOULD be going to bed. Do your best to plan your day so that your appropriate bedtime can be maintained. If you only get 5 hours of sleep, nothing I can tell you will change how you feel in the morning.

Don't hit the snooze button. Those extra 9 minutes of sleep aren't going to do you any good. You're alarm is just going to go off again and you'll be in the same situation. It's best to just get out of bed, turn off the alarm clock and get moving. If you have some extra money to invest in your morning routine, you might try a fancy alarm clock. Progressive alarm clocks start with soft light and add soft music or chimes that gradually get louder until you finally wake up. It's less of a rude awakening. Sleep cycle alarm clocks measure your movement during the night and calculate the optimal time for you to wake up so you aren't in a deep sleep when the alarm goes off.

Exercise. You don't need a full workout routine. A few sit ups, push ups, or lunges is enough to get your blood flowing and wake you up.

Eat Breakfast. Have some yogurt, cereal, fresh fruit, oatmeal, or steak and eggs with bacon, hash browns, and pepperoni pizza on the side. Your body needs fuel if you want to start the day out right.

Listen to Music. Keep the volume down if other people are still sleeping, but crank it up just enough to stimulate your senses and make the morning a little more enjoyable. Music has an amazing ability to impact one’s mood, so put on something happy and energetic.

Do something you look forward to. You can read a blog or article in the paper you particularly enjoy. Or you could check out a funny web comic or have 5 minutes of Facebook time. The point is to wake up knowing that between getting out of bed and going to work, there is at least one genuinely enjoyable thing that you will do.

So, give yourself plenty of time in the morning to make it a pleasant event. Savor the time you have in the morning before clocking in at work. You may even find yourself waking up earlier just to have more of this enjoyable morning time. Okay, maybe not, but at least you'll be less miserable.

Love Tap

This video is great motivation to never let love pass you by, or to appreciate the love you've already found.

EQC - Emotional Quality Control

Emotions. They can be wonderful blessings that allow us to assign meaning and feeling to everything around us. Or, they can be terrible curses that control our lives and prevent us from being who we want to be. This week's Ten Minute Fix is intended to help you gain control of your emotions and ensure their quality as a force for good in your life.

Emotional Quality Control (EQC) - Let's define this as the act of controlling and developing emotions so they may have a more positive impact on one's life.

Making an EQC Grab Bag

1. Start by making a list of positive emotions you either already enjoy or would like to experience. Examples: Gratitude, Ambition, Love, Empathy, Awe, Devotion, Hope, Peace, etc... 
2. Write them out on strips of paper, pieces of felt, rocks, or whatever you have lying around.
3. Put them in a bag.
4. You're done!

Using an EQC Grab Bag

Every morning, grab an emotion out of the bag and make it your focus for the day. Do your best to explore the feelings associated with the emotion. Seek out opportunities to express the emotion. Think about how this emotion enriches your life and/or makes you a better person. So, if you grab gratitude, you can think about everything you're grateful for, express gratitude, and notice how being grateful impacts your life and the lives of those close to you.

If you want to make sure you get to every emotion you can leave it out of the bag so you won't draw the same one twice.

It's great to feel! Emotions are so much more complex than the usual happy, sad, stressed, or bored. Explore your world with a new emotional lens every day and you'll begin to discover a whole new depth to your reality.

Plutchik's wheel of emotions

Global Warming

You can call me naive, but global warming seems like something everyone should be hoping for.

Climb 'Til Your Dream Comes True

Climb 'Til Your Dream Comes True

by: Helen Steiner Rice

Often your tasks will be many,
And more than you think you can do.
Often the road will be rugged
And the hills insurmountable, too.
But always remember,
The hills ahead
Are never as steep as they seem,
And with Faith in your heart
Start upward
And climb 'til you reach your dream.
For nothing in life that is worthy
Is ever too hard to achieve
If you have the courage to try it,
And you have the faith to believe.
For faith is a force that is greater
Than knowledge or power or skill,
And many defeats turn to triumph
If you trust in God's wisdom and will.
For faith is a mover of mountains,
There's nothing that God cannot do,
So, start out today with faith in your heart,
And climb 'til your dream comes true!

Found at www.beyondthequote.com

Set Goals With Both Eyes Open

"Something happens between the time I decide to do something and the time to actually do it. I have all these ideas about how great and good for me it will be and all the benefits in the beginning, but when it's crunch time I  only think about how hard and pointless and unnecessary it is. What's happening and how do I stop it?"

Have you ever heard anyone say you should go into marriage with both eyes wide open, and then after you're married to keep one eye closed? I think the meaning behind that advice is that you should consider all the potential problems and hardships realistically before making such a big decision, but after the decision is already made, you should do your best to ignore all the minor problems and focus on the positive (my wife must have had both eyes closed when we were engaged and plugged her ears after we were married). I know you're not asking about marriage, but the same principle applies to goals.

When you set a goal, it's important to consider all the potential obstacles. You should consider how difficult it will be, what sacrifices will have to be made, how long it will take, and excuses you may try using to abandon the goal before you even start. After taking a hard realistic look at the goal, you can then decide if the potential gain is worth the potential difficulty. If the answer is yes, you are ready to continue.

Now when it's time to work on the goal, be aware that these obstacles may pop up every now and again, but you're prepared for them and can focus on reaching your goal and it's associated benefits. An obstacle is a trial that must be overcome on your journey towards success. An obstacle is NOT a reason for you to abandon your journey.

In your case, you may only be considering the benefits in the beginning. You don't start thinking about what will be required until you are about to get started. You suddenly realize there is a ton of complicated and difficult work between you and your goal, and that becomes all you see. The benefits fade away and leave you with a sense of , "why am I even doing this?"

Next time you decide to do something, consider the benefits and requirements together. It will give you a more realistic view of your goal, and a better chance of succeeding.

Take Pride

Take pride in your world. Think about every aspect of your life that you are in control of and then really take control. Focus your energy and do your very best. Hard work and a job well done are not only keys to a healthy society, but to a happy life as well.

When defining your world, think of your responsibilities at home, work, church, or wherever. These responsibilities make up a huge part of your life, and the only person out there with the power to make them better is you. So, take pride in what you do. Don't just sweep the kitchen floor. Make it shine! Don't just drive to work. Listen to a motivational talk or a book on tape! Don't just eat lunch. Eat a delicious, healthy lunch and invite someone else to make it a social event! Don't just do your job. Excel at your job!

Don't do these things so that other people will notice, but still do them so well that people can't help but notice, even if that isn't your goal.

There is so much in life that we can't control. Let's not give up on what we CAN control. We can't control the weather, other people's actions, or the frequency that Seinfeld is on TV, but we CAN control how we react to these situations. Don't let a little bad weather, ill-tempered customer, or lack of Seinfeld get you down. Just like you don't control them, they don't control you.

Make your world a world you can be proud of! Have a great week!

Rein In Computer Time

Once upon a time, TV was the classic time waster, but I am willing to bet that the internet has taken it's place. Sure, there are great uses for the internet like reading this blog and getting into arguments with complete strangers while leaving comments on news stories, but let's put a time limit on our online lives, so they don't interfere with our offline lives.

If you need some help, in ten minutes you can download, install, and start using a program that will keep track of your computer time and blank out the screen when time is up. Here's a link to a free one that I found while wasting time on the internet :)

http://www.mediavention.com/groundhogmain.html

This program is called GroundHog and was created by a dad who wanted to set time limits for how long his kids can spend on the computer. If you want to limit your computer time to 2 hours a day, just log in and set the timer. It will keep track of the time for you and let you know when it's time to come back to the real world.

Common Ground

I knew I shouldn't have run on a pro-genocide platform.

Unreal Standards

I saw this video a while ago and thought it was amazing. We should always be careful not to judge ourselves against unrealistic and in this case just unreal standards.

About to Give Up

I have a goal and I'm ready to give up. I'm discouraged and don't want to do it anymore. It just doesn't seem worth it. Any words of encouragement?

You haven't failed. As long as you're still working towards something, your failure or success isn't finalized. Even if you're not seeing results or it's getting more and more difficult, you are moving towards success as long as you're still moving.

This is your defining moment! When you are this close (I'm holding my index finger and thumb together to indicate the closeness) to giving up, but don't, and push on and find the strength to overcome temptation, you'll realize the power you have.

The old you may have given up without a second thought, but that's the you that existed before you began this journey. That version of you is gone. You're stronger now. You've learned more. You can find the confidence to do this.

Take note of what you have already achieved. Celebrate your accomplishments and know that more are to come, but not if you give up. You HAVE to keep going. You owe it to yourself. Think of all the hard work and sacrifice you've been through. Think of your most difficult time and ask yourself how you would feel if at that time you knew a future version of yourself would be giving up. And think of a future version of yourself either enjoying the fruits of your labor or regretting not pushing a little harder in a moment of weakness.

Give it some more time. Find someone to help you. Try a different approach. Just don't give up. Not today.

Playing with Calculators

Saving money is HARD! And I'm saying that as a natural born saver. I often prefer having saved cash that could potentially be used for something than the actual thing I end up using it for. But still, saving money is HARD!

What motivates me are these online calculators that tell you the results of paying off your mortgage early or earning compound interest on savings. It helps me see that over time (sometimes a very long time) these little sacrifices I'm making will really start to add up. Here's an example:

Let's say I want to upgrade my cable package to include more than PBS and Univision. This upgrade will cost $20 and I figure there is $20 worth of wiggle room in my budget, so why not? Well, if I hop on to Dave Ramsey's Investing Calculator and see what $20 a month invested for 40 years would give me at a modest average annual rate of return of 5%, I'll realize that a lifetime of cable TV will cost me $30,647.87 in potential investment. Is it worth that much money to get the Discovery Channel in HD? Maybe I'll just stick to my Seinfeld DVDs.

In all reality there is a good chance I'll upgrade my cable before retirement, but the point is that there will be hundreds, if not thousands, of $20 decisions I'll be making throughout my life and I should consider the long term consequences of each one.

Another Example: If you're a pack a day smoker and quit for the next 40 years you'll save $250,000 by investing that money instead. Plus you're more likely to have fewer health care costs and a better quality of life.

Here are my two favorite calculators to use:

Dave Ramsey's Investing Calculator
Mortgage Amortization Calculator

Comic from www.xkcd.com

Breakfast

I tend to like sleep so much that breakfast pays the price. I have my morning routine planned to the minute and a good nutritious meal just doesn't fit into it right now. Well, these facts should change my routine as well as the routine of anyone like me.

A healthy breakfast means...

• Improved concentration and performance
• More strength and endurance
• A healthier weight (That's right. People who eat breakfast tend to weigh less than those who skip it)
• Oh yeah, and not sitting around starving and watching the clock until lunch time

Here are 9 Fast, Healthy Breakfast Ideas from Real Simple. Follow the link for more pictures and more info about the breakfasts below.

1. Fruit and Cheese
2. Peanut Butter Waffle
3. Plain Doughnut with Chocolate Milk
4. Strawberry Shake
5. Morning Pizza
6. Energy Bars
7. Egg McMuffin
8. Cereal Sundae
9. Huevos Rancheros

Use one of these ideas, or create your own fast and healthy breakfast. Wake up ten minutes earlier, or get ready ten minutes faster to eat a good breakfast and enjoy the benefits.

Teachings

I actually LOVE vegetables. I just never buy them...or eat them.

7 Keys to a Happy Life

We all know that money doesn't buy happiness. There are plenty of miserable people living in the finest mansions and there are plenty of happy people living in the darkest basement apartments. If money isn't the key to happiness, what is? Below are 7 keys in no particular order. This isn't a comprehensive list by any means, but if you make progress in these 7 areas, you'll be doing okay for yourself.

Purpose - To be happy in life, you have to feel like your life means something. This sense of purpose could manifest itself in a number of ways. Your role in your family, profession, church service, etc... Define your purpose and take pride in fulfilling it well.

Gratitude - Gratitude for what you have brings happiness. Yearning for things you don't have brings sadness. Working towards a better standard of living is good, but not if you never appreciate it when you get it. For every desire you are working for, have ten things you already have and are grateful for to back it up.

Optimism - Believe in and hope for a brighter future. See the opportunity in misfortune. Trust that one way or another everything will work out. An optimistic attitude will do away with feelings of despair and hopelessness.

Friendship - It's important to have someone close to you who will celebrate your success and lift you up when you're feeling down. Friends and family make life worth living. Strive to develop meaningful friendships and relationships with family.

Faith - People can be quick to point out all the evil done in the name or religion, but slow to recognize all the good done through true religion. Believe in something bigger than yourself. Pray. Strive to live the teachings and morals of your faith.

Integrity - Be honest to others and yourself. Do what you say you'll do. Be the best person you can be, even when no one else is looking. Who wants to spend their time with someone who is dishonest, two-faced, and fake? Without integrity, YOU will be that person, and you'll have to spend a lot of time with yourself.

Service - The beautiful thing about service is that it takes the focus off of your own trials and difficulties. When you're the most beaten down, depressed, and lost, find an opportunity to serve someone else. It will allow you to distance yourself from your problems momentarily and return to face them with new confidence in your ability to affect change in your world.

Anyone can use these 7 keys. Start working on them today. They don't cost anything.

Priorities

This question comes from Coach Vaughn in Springville, UT

"My beautiful, loving, would-sacrifice-anything-for-me wife really needs me to be nice and treat her like she deserves to be treated right now, but instead I'm writing this blog post. What should I do?"

Stop writing. Go to the store. Buy her some treats. Tell her you love her. Massage her feet. And give her your undivided attention for the rest of the night.

How Bad Do You Want Success?

How Bad Do You Want It from Greyskale Multimedia LLC on Vimeo.

When you want it like you want to breathe, you'll get it.