I Don't Care WHAT You Think!

“Go out in the world and work like money doesn't matter, Sing as if no one is listening, Love as if you have never been hurt, and Dance as if no one is watching”

Anonymous asks...
 "How do you learn how to be independent and true to yourself and basically stop caring what other people think without becoming a huge jerk? Or, if that is too touchy feely, how does one go about acquiring a baby panda?"

This is a great question and it's not too touchy feely at all! When you boil it down, it's a question about self-esteem. Let me explain...

In this case, the most applicable definition of being independent is "not looking to others for one's opinions or for guidance in conduct" (Thanks Merriam-Webster). So, if you're not looking to others for opinions or guidance you have to TRUST your own opinions and guidance. To be true to yourself, you have to first KNOW who you are. And to stop caring what other people think, you have to CARE about what you think. 

So you must...KNOW yourself....TRUST yourself...and CARE about yourself.

Know Yourself
Getting to know yourself is a lot like getting to know anyone else. Ask yourself some meaningful questions, and then answer them. 
             What are the most important things in my life? 
             What is the one person, place, or thing, I would give up 
             everything else for? 
             Who am I? 
             Who do I aspire to be? 
             What are the core principles that guide my life?  
Think up your own questions that will help you get to the root of who you are. Don't worry about knowing everything about yourself in one sitting though. Instead focus on whatever is on your mind at the moment. If you're nervous about going to a party, ask questions like; What parties have I really enjoyed? What made them so enjoyable? How can I recreate that enjoyment during this party?

The most important advice I can give you is to be honest when you interview yourself. If the core principles that guide your life are greed and jealousy, it's good to recognize it so you can make changes to develop more fulfilling values. You see, being true to yourself doesn't mean holding on to your imperfections, no matter what anyone thinks. It means holding on to what you know to be right, no matter what anyone thinks.

Trust Yourself
Dig deep into your own experiences and make decisions from within. It's not wrong to listen to advice from other people, but when it's decision time, know the decision is yours. Own it! No one is making you do anything. You've studied the options and chose a path, and it's your own path, no one else's. Trust comes through experience; however. I trust my waffle recipe because I tried it, and it's delicious. I trust myself because I allowed myself to control my life, and I'm happy.

Care About Yourself
Let's say you committed a major faux pas at a party. What would be going through your head on the drive home? Would it sound anything like this?

"What were you thinking?! That was so stupid! Everyone there thinks you're an idiot now, are you happy?! They're probably talking about you right now and laughing! You deserve it too!"

Now let's say your friend committed the same faux pas at the same party. What would you say to them? Probably something more like this.

"It's not a big deal! No one even noticed! They really liked you and loved your stories and jokes. You were the hit of the party! They're probably sitting around bored now that you left. "
Treat yourself at least as well as you would your own best friend. The positive messages you give yourself will drown out the few and far between negative ones that may come from others.

Not Being a Jerk
Keep these three truths in mind, and you'll have nothing to worry about.

1. Being independent doesn't mean being selfish. 
2. Being true to yourself doesn't mean embracing your jerkiness and inflicting it on others. 
3. Not caring about what anyone else THINKS, doesn't mean not caring about what anyone else FEELS.

As for acquiring a baby panda, your safest and most legal bet would be to become a zoologist and get on the acquisitions committee for a large metropolitan zoo.  A quick search for "zoologist" on Monster.com brought back zero results, so you may have to wait for the economy to improve.