It's Recommended That...

Daily Motto

The best way to get the most out of any given day is to have some motto or theme directing that day's activities.   A motto is more than a goal, it's a summary of the motivation behind your goals, so it affects every aspect of your day and not just one particular goal.

Today I could make my motto, "Work Hard. Play Hard". Any time I'm doing something considered to be work, I'd put all my focus and energy into it. I'd be more efficient and more productive. When not working, it's time for play. The same focus and energy I put into my work would be put into having a good time. I'd play a new game, do some new activity with my family, or revisit our favorite things to do. I'd concentrate on having fun and enjoying every second of it.

My family motto is factis definiri "defined by deeds". If I chose this to be my focus for the day, I would constantly be on the lookout for people to serve. While working I'd look for some way to go above and beyond the call of duty to help someone out, and the rest of the day I would serve my family and community any way I could.

There are a ton of mottos out there. Here's a list of some used by companies and organizations. You can try to adapt some of these, look for others, or make up your own. Whatever motto you choose, remember it throughout the day. Email yourself about it, put it on your calendar, or wear a piece of string on your finger to remind you and redirect your focus.

Make this Monday live up to your expectations. Create a motto and allow it to guide your actions today.

The Happiest Man I've Met

He lived in a 10’ X 10’ home he built himself on a muddy lot, but he lived there with his wife and two kids and he was the happiest person I have ever met. I met this man in Santiago Chile back in 2004. His home was mostly finished and boy was he proud of it. He couldn’t afford many materials, but he made it as nice as he possibly could. He collected scraps from construction sites and found the best price for whatever he had to buy. He took great care to build his tiny home perfectly. When I first went to his house, winter was about to start, so he was in the process of filling his walls with styrofoam he had collected from various sources.

He had been out of work for a long time and was still looking for a job, but in the mean time, he and his wife made caramel filled churros to sell to commuters and shoppers downtown while their kids were in school. He had a passion for exercise, but couldn’t afford equipment, so he had a metal bar with buckets of rocks and dirt that he would use for weight training. His positive attitude and happiness were infectious, so his wife and kids were also some of the happiest people I’ve met.

He had big dreams of adding a kitchen, bedrooms, and a bathroom to his little home. He knew the future was going to be better, but he never let it stop him from savoring every minute of the present. One time I asked him how he could be so happy all the time. He said he is unhappy sometimes, but he figures “being sad makes [him] more sad than being sad makes other people sad”. He believed other people had a higher tolerance for unhappiness, and were more willing to put up with it than he was. He just didn’t see the point in negative emotions and thought that if everyone hated being sad as much as he did, everyone would enjoy life a little more.

His secret to happiness was gratitude. He had dreams of being a fitness instructor and living in a larger and nicer home, but at the same time he was so grateful that people were buying his churros and he had shelter and food for his family. He was grateful for every new day and saw it as an opportunity to better his family’s situation, even if it was adding scraps of styrofoam to his walls so winter wouldn’t be quite as cold, or finding someone he could pay “rent” to so that his family could use their bathroom to shower a couple times a week.

Thanksgiving makes me think of him, and thinking of him motivates me to be grateful, no matter my circumstances.

Torture

Why does Obama want to shut down a resort? What? The Bush administration took suspected terrorists there for surfing excursions? That's just plain wrong. Is it torture because terrorists prefer skateboarding?

Forget the Golden Rule

Okay, forgetting it completely could be a little rash, but let's take a close look at it. Although it is phrased differently across the globe and throughout history, I typically hear it said, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." What's wrong with that?

First off, people don't like to be treated the same. If you look at specific cases it may not work. For example, when I'm sick, all I want is to be left alone. I want to get in bed, watch Seinfeld, and try to forget how miserable I feel. So, when I was first married, I followed the Golden Rule and afforded my wife privacy and solitude when she was sick. BIG MISTAKE! I only made her more miserable because I added abandonment to her list of ailments. That's because when SHE is sick she wants nothing more than company and comfort from other people.

Maybe we should rephrase the Golden Rule to be, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you...if you were them." The other option is to only apply the Golden Rule very generally, but that's watering it down to  "be nice to people". Or we could rephrase it to , "Do what other people want you to do", but that would backfire pretty quickly.

Of course, the Golden Rule is still a good thing. I just caution you to use it carefully. Make sure you are truly helping the person you intend to help.

Book Recommendations

"Any book recommendations?"


Sure! My first recommendation is that you read them. In my case, I actually prefer to listen to them, but the audio book selection at my library isn't very extensive. Here are is a self-help book I've read and really enjoyed along with a brief description. When I read a book, my retention isn't all that great so I usually end up with one main lesson that sticks with me. I'll include that for the book too. I'll just do one book today, but there are several books I enjoy and will tell you about in future posts.

Self Matters: Creating Your Life from the Inside Out by Phillip C. McGraw (Dr. Phil)

This is the second book by Dr. Phil that I have read and I have to tell you that I like what he has to say. This one focuses on the premise that we create our lives based on other people's expectations of us and along the way we conform and lose our authentic selves. This makes us feel unhappy and lost, so Dr. Phil takes you through the process of seeing what events in your past shaped the person you are today. Then he empowers you with the choice to reinvent yourself by abandoning anything toxic and embracing anything uplifting. He also provides tips on making changes in your life that return you to your own passions and talents. 

My take home message: It's okay to focus on yourself and go after what you want. The world labels it as selfish, but that's only because it's in the world's best interest for you to conform.True selfishness does exist, but simply living your authentic life isn't it. You can't help anyone else if you haven't taken care of yourself first.

Fun Size?

Nothing. And it takes a special kind of crazy to think you can convince the American public otherwise.

You Are Not So Smart

Maybe a little pessimistic, but there's a lot I like about this video. The book looks interesting too. Any of my clients will tell you I talk a lot about the ideas of "present you" and "future you".

The Funk

"I'm in a real funk, and I'm ready to get out of it. I feel kind of blah all day and have trouble enjoying anything. What can I do to be myself again?"

First off, read these symptoms of depression . If you have many of these symptoms for an extended period of time, you should talk to your doctor, counselor, or other professional. If this is just a case of the blues or a funk, I have one suggestion that may help: Service


"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
--Gandhi


Think about it. If you feel "blah" and have trouble enjoying anything, focusing on YOUR feelings is just going to remind you of how blah you feel. Instead, focus on another persons feelings and do what you can to serve them. You'll quickly forget about how you feel, because you'll be too concerned with the people you are helping.

Service is a miracle worker and not just for those on the receiving end. I remember during my time as a missionary in Santiago Chile, I was visiting a family who had stopped attending church. I couldn't stand this family! They were just so negative about everything. They did nothing but complain about their situation in life, the people at church, the weather, their family, anything and everything. Every time we visited them I was put in a funk, but we kept going because we felt like we should.

Then one day we discovered they were building a small extension on to their home so their daughter and new son-in-law could live with them and have a space of their own. We volunteered our help and things began to change. As I served side by side with this family pouring concrete and building walls, I forgot about my funk and was able to focus my attention where it should have been the whole time; on THEIR needs.

I grew to really care about the family, they started attending church again, and the new son-in-law joined the church. I believe that our service as missionaries helped them begin to have a more positive outlook, but what really helped is that as soon as they started going back to church, THEY started serving and helping other people. Suddenly, their problems weren't the only things on their minds.

They found themselves by losing themselves in the service of others.

Tough Love: Lincoln Style

I don't know much about Abraham Lincoln. I've learned some facts and probably some myths about his childhood and presidency, but as for what kind of a man he was, I'm in the dark. The letter below tells me more about him than anything I learned in school. It tells me that he was strong, caring, honest, and wise.

This letter is in response to a request for money from his brother in law. In it, Lincoln demonstrates what it means to really help someone. He shows us that rewarding someone's bad behavior won't help them in the long run. It's much better to help them change and then reward that change. Let's evaluate our relationships and make sure we are truly helping the people we love. Let's give them motivation to achieve, rather than a reward for failure.

Dear Johnston:--

Your request for eighty dollars, I do not think it best to comply
with now. At the various times when I have helped you a little, you
have said to me, "We can get along very well now," but in a very
short time I find you in the same difficulty again. Now this can
only happen by some defect in your conduct. What that defect is, I
think I know. You are not lazy, and still you are an idler. I
doubt whether since I saw you, you have done a good whole day's
work, in any one day. You do not very much dislike to work, and
still you do not work much, merely because it does not seem to you
that you could get much for it. This habit of uselessly wasting
time, is the whole difficulty; and it is vastly important to you,
and still more so to your children, that you should break this
habit. It is more important to them, because they have longer to
live, and can keep out of an idle habit before they are in it
easier than they can get out after they are in.

You are now in need of some ready money; and what I propose is,
that you shall go to work, "tooth and nail," for somebody who will
give you money for it. Let father and your boys take charge of
things at home--prepare for a crop, and make the crop; and you go
to work for the best money wages, or in discharge of any debt you
owe, that you can get. And to secure you a fair reward for your
labor, I now promise you that for every dollar you will, between
this and the first of next May, get for your own labor either in
money or in your own indebtedness, I will then give you one other
dollar. By this, if you hire yourself at ten dollars a month, from
me you will get ten more, making twenty dollars a month for your
work. In this, I do not mean you shall go off to St. Louis, or the
lead mines, or the gold mines, in California, but I mean for you to
go at it for the best wages you can get close to home, in Coles
County. Now if you will do this, you will soon be out of debt, and
what is better, you will have a habit that will keep you from
getting in debt again. But if I should now clear you out, next year
you will be just as deep in as ever. You say you would almost give
your place in Heaven for $70 or $80. Then you value your place in
Heaven very cheaply, for I am sure you can with the offer I make
you get the seventy or eighty dollars for four or five months'
work. You say if I furnish you the money you will deed me the land,
and if you don't pay the money back, you will deliver possession--
Nonsense! If you can't now live with the land, how will you then
live without it? You have always been kind to me, and I do not now
mean to be unkind to you. On the contrary, if you will but follow
my advice, you will find it worth more than eight times eighty
dollars to you.

Affectionately your brother,

A. LINCOLN.

I found the text of this letter at www.quotablelincoln.com

Auto Pay

Paying bills isn’t any fun, so why spend more time on it than you have to? By setting up automatic payments for your bills you can save yourself time and avoid late payment fees.

Many companies have the option of setting up automatic payments. Some don’t, but that’s okay, because in many cases you can set up an automatic payment through your bank. It only makes sense to pay through your bank if the amount due is the same every month, though. If the amount varies, you have to go in and change it every month anyway.

Keep a master list of any and all automatic payments you set up. Keep track of the amounts due, when they’re paid, and what account the money comes out of. This master list will come in handy if you ever lose your credit card or switch checking accounts. I worked as a collections agent for a while, so I can tell you that many past due accounts were caused by expired credit cards. The master list allows you to update your payment method easily without any bills falling through the cracks.

Avoid fees. Some companies will charge you a “convenience fee” or something similar if you use a credit card for your auto pay. Usually using a checking account instead is enough to avoid the fee. Just read the fine print and ask questions to make sure there are no hidden charges.

Keep a little extra in your checking account. Since payments are made without you checking your account balance, you could get into a sticky overdraft situation. I try to stay 1 month ahead in my checking account. This reduces the feeling of living paycheck to paycheck, and I don’t have to worry about my electric bill causing me to overdraft.

So, for this week’s ten minute fix. Choose a couple of bills you pay every month and do some research to see if you can switch them to auto pay. Setting it up won’t take much longer than paying the bill itself, and when next month comes along, you can just file the bill away without worrying about it!

Check List Check List

These should be the first items on any checklist. They provide much needed momentum right when you need it.

Validation

I posted this video on the Facebook page a while back, but it's worth watching again. You're all great! You really are. :)

Fear

Happy Halloween!

I figured fear would be an appropriate topic for this week's Motivation Monday.

Fear as a Motivator
This is the healthy kind of fear. This is the fear of failure and embarrassment that makes you practice your speech 20 times before the big presentation. It's the fear of death that motivates you to avoid dangerous situations. This kind of fear is no problem and we should do our best to preserve it, but the other kind of fear is the one we should work to overcome.

Fear as a De-Motivator
This is the bad kind of fear. This is the fear of failure and embarrassment that causes you to freeze and stutter as you give your speech during the big presentation. It's the fear that prevents you from participating in normal activities. Fear can limit us so much that we need strong motivation to overcome it. As a kid, I was shy enough that going door to door in a silly costume would have terrified me any other day, but I had a strong motivation to combat that fear. CANDY! Okay, it wasn't just the candy. I also wanted to do what other kids did and have fun with my friends. That desire for candy and time with my friends was strong enough for me to overcome my fear. For every fear we need to overcome, we need a motivator stronger than that fear.

"When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."
-- Bill Cosby

Stop Junk Mail

Ten Minute Fix: Opt out of credit card offers.

It's easy! You'll have less junk mail. You'll lower your risk of identity theft. And you can always opt back in if you decide you miss discover, visa, and mastercard's daily greetings. 

Here's what you do.

1. Go to this address www.optoutprescreen.com. It's run by the people who are making money off of these offers, so they'll try and convince you of the many benefits of receiving junk mail. Don't bother reading any of it because it's all complete garbage.

2. Click the "Click Here to Opt-in or Opt-out" button at the bottom of the page.

3. Choose "Electronic Opt Out for Five Years" (This one can be done online. For a permanent opt out you can send something in by mail, but I like to save the stamp and just do it again in five years)

4. Fill out the form with the required information and click the "confirm" button.

If you want to reduce junk mail even more, go to www.dmachoice.org. Here you can set preferences with the Direct Marketing Association which represents 3,600 companies that like to send you junk mail.

What would you do?

As far as I can remember I've never had a Klondike Bar for this very reason, but after trying to draw one, it actually looks pretty good. I think I'll buy a box, and if I don't like them, I'll walk around seeing what I can get people to do for my leftovers.

Bear Hug

I know I'm posting a lot of videos, but there are just SO MANY good ones! This one made me tear up a little. It's really great.

Wake Up Happy

"I'm not a morning person, but that doesn't change the fact that I have to be at work by 7 AM. Any advice on how to make my mornings a little less miserable?"

Mornings can be tough. When that alarm goes off, it's tempting to ignore it for a few minutes and then stumble out of bed, stumble into the shower, stumble to the car, stumble into work, and then fully wake up around lunch time. Here are some tips you can consider:

Go to bed early. You know when you have to wake up. You know you should be getting close to eight hours of sleep. You know when you SHOULD be going to bed. Do your best to plan your day so that your appropriate bedtime can be maintained. If you only get 5 hours of sleep, nothing I can tell you will change how you feel in the morning.

Don't hit the snooze button. Those extra 9 minutes of sleep aren't going to do you any good. You're alarm is just going to go off again and you'll be in the same situation. It's best to just get out of bed, turn off the alarm clock and get moving. If you have some extra money to invest in your morning routine, you might try a fancy alarm clock. Progressive alarm clocks start with soft light and add soft music or chimes that gradually get louder until you finally wake up. It's less of a rude awakening. Sleep cycle alarm clocks measure your movement during the night and calculate the optimal time for you to wake up so you aren't in a deep sleep when the alarm goes off.

Exercise. You don't need a full workout routine. A few sit ups, push ups, or lunges is enough to get your blood flowing and wake you up.

Eat Breakfast. Have some yogurt, cereal, fresh fruit, oatmeal, or steak and eggs with bacon, hash browns, and pepperoni pizza on the side. Your body needs fuel if you want to start the day out right.

Listen to Music. Keep the volume down if other people are still sleeping, but crank it up just enough to stimulate your senses and make the morning a little more enjoyable. Music has an amazing ability to impact one’s mood, so put on something happy and energetic.

Do something you look forward to. You can read a blog or article in the paper you particularly enjoy. Or you could check out a funny web comic or have 5 minutes of Facebook time. The point is to wake up knowing that between getting out of bed and going to work, there is at least one genuinely enjoyable thing that you will do.

So, give yourself plenty of time in the morning to make it a pleasant event. Savor the time you have in the morning before clocking in at work. You may even find yourself waking up earlier just to have more of this enjoyable morning time. Okay, maybe not, but at least you'll be less miserable.

Love Tap

This video is great motivation to never let love pass you by, or to appreciate the love you've already found.

EQC - Emotional Quality Control

Emotions. They can be wonderful blessings that allow us to assign meaning and feeling to everything around us. Or, they can be terrible curses that control our lives and prevent us from being who we want to be. This week's Ten Minute Fix is intended to help you gain control of your emotions and ensure their quality as a force for good in your life.

Emotional Quality Control (EQC) - Let's define this as the act of controlling and developing emotions so they may have a more positive impact on one's life.

Making an EQC Grab Bag

1. Start by making a list of positive emotions you either already enjoy or would like to experience. Examples: Gratitude, Ambition, Love, Empathy, Awe, Devotion, Hope, Peace, etc... 
2. Write them out on strips of paper, pieces of felt, rocks, or whatever you have lying around.
3. Put them in a bag.
4. You're done!

Using an EQC Grab Bag

Every morning, grab an emotion out of the bag and make it your focus for the day. Do your best to explore the feelings associated with the emotion. Seek out opportunities to express the emotion. Think about how this emotion enriches your life and/or makes you a better person. So, if you grab gratitude, you can think about everything you're grateful for, express gratitude, and notice how being grateful impacts your life and the lives of those close to you.

If you want to make sure you get to every emotion you can leave it out of the bag so you won't draw the same one twice.

It's great to feel! Emotions are so much more complex than the usual happy, sad, stressed, or bored. Explore your world with a new emotional lens every day and you'll begin to discover a whole new depth to your reality.

Plutchik's wheel of emotions

Global Warming

You can call me naive, but global warming seems like something everyone should be hoping for.

Climb 'Til Your Dream Comes True

Climb 'Til Your Dream Comes True

by: Helen Steiner Rice

Often your tasks will be many,
And more than you think you can do.
Often the road will be rugged
And the hills insurmountable, too.
But always remember,
The hills ahead
Are never as steep as they seem,
And with Faith in your heart
Start upward
And climb 'til you reach your dream.
For nothing in life that is worthy
Is ever too hard to achieve
If you have the courage to try it,
And you have the faith to believe.
For faith is a force that is greater
Than knowledge or power or skill,
And many defeats turn to triumph
If you trust in God's wisdom and will.
For faith is a mover of mountains,
There's nothing that God cannot do,
So, start out today with faith in your heart,
And climb 'til your dream comes true!

Found at www.beyondthequote.com

Set Goals With Both Eyes Open

"Something happens between the time I decide to do something and the time to actually do it. I have all these ideas about how great and good for me it will be and all the benefits in the beginning, but when it's crunch time I  only think about how hard and pointless and unnecessary it is. What's happening and how do I stop it?"

Have you ever heard anyone say you should go into marriage with both eyes wide open, and then after you're married to keep one eye closed? I think the meaning behind that advice is that you should consider all the potential problems and hardships realistically before making such a big decision, but after the decision is already made, you should do your best to ignore all the minor problems and focus on the positive (my wife must have had both eyes closed when we were engaged and plugged her ears after we were married). I know you're not asking about marriage, but the same principle applies to goals.

When you set a goal, it's important to consider all the potential obstacles. You should consider how difficult it will be, what sacrifices will have to be made, how long it will take, and excuses you may try using to abandon the goal before you even start. After taking a hard realistic look at the goal, you can then decide if the potential gain is worth the potential difficulty. If the answer is yes, you are ready to continue.

Now when it's time to work on the goal, be aware that these obstacles may pop up every now and again, but you're prepared for them and can focus on reaching your goal and it's associated benefits. An obstacle is a trial that must be overcome on your journey towards success. An obstacle is NOT a reason for you to abandon your journey.

In your case, you may only be considering the benefits in the beginning. You don't start thinking about what will be required until you are about to get started. You suddenly realize there is a ton of complicated and difficult work between you and your goal, and that becomes all you see. The benefits fade away and leave you with a sense of , "why am I even doing this?"

Next time you decide to do something, consider the benefits and requirements together. It will give you a more realistic view of your goal, and a better chance of succeeding.

Take Pride

Take pride in your world. Think about every aspect of your life that you are in control of and then really take control. Focus your energy and do your very best. Hard work and a job well done are not only keys to a healthy society, but to a happy life as well.

When defining your world, think of your responsibilities at home, work, church, or wherever. These responsibilities make up a huge part of your life, and the only person out there with the power to make them better is you. So, take pride in what you do. Don't just sweep the kitchen floor. Make it shine! Don't just drive to work. Listen to a motivational talk or a book on tape! Don't just eat lunch. Eat a delicious, healthy lunch and invite someone else to make it a social event! Don't just do your job. Excel at your job!

Don't do these things so that other people will notice, but still do them so well that people can't help but notice, even if that isn't your goal.

There is so much in life that we can't control. Let's not give up on what we CAN control. We can't control the weather, other people's actions, or the frequency that Seinfeld is on TV, but we CAN control how we react to these situations. Don't let a little bad weather, ill-tempered customer, or lack of Seinfeld get you down. Just like you don't control them, they don't control you.

Make your world a world you can be proud of! Have a great week!

Rein In Computer Time

Once upon a time, TV was the classic time waster, but I am willing to bet that the internet has taken it's place. Sure, there are great uses for the internet like reading this blog and getting into arguments with complete strangers while leaving comments on news stories, but let's put a time limit on our online lives, so they don't interfere with our offline lives.

If you need some help, in ten minutes you can download, install, and start using a program that will keep track of your computer time and blank out the screen when time is up. Here's a link to a free one that I found while wasting time on the internet :)

http://www.mediavention.com/groundhogmain.html

This program is called GroundHog and was created by a dad who wanted to set time limits for how long his kids can spend on the computer. If you want to limit your computer time to 2 hours a day, just log in and set the timer. It will keep track of the time for you and let you know when it's time to come back to the real world.

Common Ground

I knew I shouldn't have run on a pro-genocide platform.

Unreal Standards

I saw this video a while ago and thought it was amazing. We should always be careful not to judge ourselves against unrealistic and in this case just unreal standards.

About to Give Up

I have a goal and I'm ready to give up. I'm discouraged and don't want to do it anymore. It just doesn't seem worth it. Any words of encouragement?

You haven't failed. As long as you're still working towards something, your failure or success isn't finalized. Even if you're not seeing results or it's getting more and more difficult, you are moving towards success as long as you're still moving.

This is your defining moment! When you are this close (I'm holding my index finger and thumb together to indicate the closeness) to giving up, but don't, and push on and find the strength to overcome temptation, you'll realize the power you have.

The old you may have given up without a second thought, but that's the you that existed before you began this journey. That version of you is gone. You're stronger now. You've learned more. You can find the confidence to do this.

Take note of what you have already achieved. Celebrate your accomplishments and know that more are to come, but not if you give up. You HAVE to keep going. You owe it to yourself. Think of all the hard work and sacrifice you've been through. Think of your most difficult time and ask yourself how you would feel if at that time you knew a future version of yourself would be giving up. And think of a future version of yourself either enjoying the fruits of your labor or regretting not pushing a little harder in a moment of weakness.

Give it some more time. Find someone to help you. Try a different approach. Just don't give up. Not today.

Playing with Calculators

Saving money is HARD! And I'm saying that as a natural born saver. I often prefer having saved cash that could potentially be used for something than the actual thing I end up using it for. But still, saving money is HARD!

What motivates me are these online calculators that tell you the results of paying off your mortgage early or earning compound interest on savings. It helps me see that over time (sometimes a very long time) these little sacrifices I'm making will really start to add up. Here's an example:

Let's say I want to upgrade my cable package to include more than PBS and Univision. This upgrade will cost $20 and I figure there is $20 worth of wiggle room in my budget, so why not? Well, if I hop on to Dave Ramsey's Investing Calculator and see what $20 a month invested for 40 years would give me at a modest average annual rate of return of 5%, I'll realize that a lifetime of cable TV will cost me $30,647.87 in potential investment. Is it worth that much money to get the Discovery Channel in HD? Maybe I'll just stick to my Seinfeld DVDs.

In all reality there is a good chance I'll upgrade my cable before retirement, but the point is that there will be hundreds, if not thousands, of $20 decisions I'll be making throughout my life and I should consider the long term consequences of each one.

Another Example: If you're a pack a day smoker and quit for the next 40 years you'll save $250,000 by investing that money instead. Plus you're more likely to have fewer health care costs and a better quality of life.

Here are my two favorite calculators to use:

Dave Ramsey's Investing Calculator
Mortgage Amortization Calculator

Comic from www.xkcd.com

Breakfast

I tend to like sleep so much that breakfast pays the price. I have my morning routine planned to the minute and a good nutritious meal just doesn't fit into it right now. Well, these facts should change my routine as well as the routine of anyone like me.

A healthy breakfast means...

• Improved concentration and performance
• More strength and endurance
• A healthier weight (That's right. People who eat breakfast tend to weigh less than those who skip it)
• Oh yeah, and not sitting around starving and watching the clock until lunch time

Here are 9 Fast, Healthy Breakfast Ideas from Real Simple. Follow the link for more pictures and more info about the breakfasts below.

1. Fruit and Cheese
2. Peanut Butter Waffle
3. Plain Doughnut with Chocolate Milk
4. Strawberry Shake
5. Morning Pizza
6. Energy Bars
7. Egg McMuffin
8. Cereal Sundae
9. Huevos Rancheros

Use one of these ideas, or create your own fast and healthy breakfast. Wake up ten minutes earlier, or get ready ten minutes faster to eat a good breakfast and enjoy the benefits.

Teachings

I actually LOVE vegetables. I just never buy them...or eat them.

7 Keys to a Happy Life

We all know that money doesn't buy happiness. There are plenty of miserable people living in the finest mansions and there are plenty of happy people living in the darkest basement apartments. If money isn't the key to happiness, what is? Below are 7 keys in no particular order. This isn't a comprehensive list by any means, but if you make progress in these 7 areas, you'll be doing okay for yourself.

Purpose - To be happy in life, you have to feel like your life means something. This sense of purpose could manifest itself in a number of ways. Your role in your family, profession, church service, etc... Define your purpose and take pride in fulfilling it well.

Gratitude - Gratitude for what you have brings happiness. Yearning for things you don't have brings sadness. Working towards a better standard of living is good, but not if you never appreciate it when you get it. For every desire you are working for, have ten things you already have and are grateful for to back it up.

Optimism - Believe in and hope for a brighter future. See the opportunity in misfortune. Trust that one way or another everything will work out. An optimistic attitude will do away with feelings of despair and hopelessness.

Friendship - It's important to have someone close to you who will celebrate your success and lift you up when you're feeling down. Friends and family make life worth living. Strive to develop meaningful friendships and relationships with family.

Faith - People can be quick to point out all the evil done in the name or religion, but slow to recognize all the good done through true religion. Believe in something bigger than yourself. Pray. Strive to live the teachings and morals of your faith.

Integrity - Be honest to others and yourself. Do what you say you'll do. Be the best person you can be, even when no one else is looking. Who wants to spend their time with someone who is dishonest, two-faced, and fake? Without integrity, YOU will be that person, and you'll have to spend a lot of time with yourself.

Service - The beautiful thing about service is that it takes the focus off of your own trials and difficulties. When you're the most beaten down, depressed, and lost, find an opportunity to serve someone else. It will allow you to distance yourself from your problems momentarily and return to face them with new confidence in your ability to affect change in your world.

Anyone can use these 7 keys. Start working on them today. They don't cost anything.

Priorities

This question comes from Coach Vaughn in Springville, UT

"My beautiful, loving, would-sacrifice-anything-for-me wife really needs me to be nice and treat her like she deserves to be treated right now, but instead I'm writing this blog post. What should I do?"

Stop writing. Go to the store. Buy her some treats. Tell her you love her. Massage her feet. And give her your undivided attention for the rest of the night.

How Bad Do You Want Success?

How Bad Do You Want It from Greyskale Multimedia LLC on Vimeo.

When you want it like you want to breathe, you'll get it. 

Your Coaching Journal

Ten Minute Fix: Start your very own coaching journal.

Everything becomes so much more real when it's in writing. Thinking, "I should learn to play the bagpipes" is great and all, but what are the chances of me actually doing anything about it? If I write it down in a permanent place, and review that place often enough, and remind myself frequently enough that playing the bagpipes is THE thing I need to accomplish in life, you may see me performing on stage with Lady Gaga some day. I'll be the one wearing a kilt and playing the bagpipes. She'll be the one wearing the bagpipes and playing a kilt.

Please take a moment to get that image out of your head... Better? Okay, let's continue. It's important that you choose an appropriate medium for your journal. Sticky notes, note cards, and napkins won't work, unless you have a great way to keep them all in one place and organized. Dry erase boards and chalkboards are no good since they aren't permanent enough. Tattoos are very permanent, but you'll need more surface area than the typical human has available. I think a regular old notebook is probably the way to go. You could also keep a folder on your computer or start a blog if you don't mind sharing your journey with others.

A good coaching journal should be...

Easily Accessible - If it's hard to get to or out of sight, you'll never use it
Permanent - You should be able to track this down 20 years from now
Expandable - For a notebook you can simply start in a new one and store them together

A coaching journal is a place to record your goals along with what you are learning while participating in coaching. It's also a place to do written activities and brainstorm. What if you aren't currently participating in coaching? Well, you're reading this blog aren't you?! I'm going to be providing weekly writing prompts or activities that you may use as inspiration for entries into your coaching journal.

Writing in your journal will make your goals and desires official. It takes them from nice thoughts, to plans of action. Reviewing your journal shows you how far you've come and reminds you of goals you may want to revisit.

Next week I'll post the first writing prompt, so get your journal ready!

1. Choose the type of journal you want (notebook, blog, folder, etc...)
2. Write your name, start date, and the purpose you believe this journal should serve
3. Find a place to keep your journal. Someplace where you'll see it and remember it often.

Weeds

They're all fun and games, until they end up in YOUR yard.

A Brighter Day

Watch this video, and then think of your own way to brighten someone's day.  :)

Feeling Helpless and Not in Control

"I feel like my life should be the sum of the choices I’ve made, but it doesn’t seem that way. It feels more like life kind of happens to me and I just go with the flow. I don’t bother planning because plans never work out. I’m left feeling a little helpless and not in control. How do I feel more in control of my life? "

Does the following describe you at all? 

• You have no set dinner time, because you just eat when you’re hungry. 
• You have no set meal because you eat whatever is easiest, or sounds best at the moment. 
• You only do laundry when you’re out of clean clothes (or a few days after), but never before. 
• You only clean when company comes over. 
• Besides work and the occasional appointment, you never know what you’ll be doing any given day. You wait for an opportunity to present itself, or figure it out as you go. 

Reactionary Living
This is a reactionary way to live. It’s waiting for needs and opportunities to present themselves and then dealing with them at that time. I’m not going to say it’s a “bad” way to live. If you consider yourself to be laid back and are happy going with the flow and living the life that comes to you, I’d say keep it up. You’re question; however, tells me that you would rather feel in control of your life than be controlled by it.

Proactive Living (Proactive Eating)

Choose a simple area of your life you want to control better. You can draw inspiration from the examples above or something else that comes to mind. For this example, let's choose dinner. You know you'll be eating every day and for the most part, what and when you eat are up to you.

Start by planning out your meals for the coming week and establishing a time when you expect to have dinner prepared. This will probably require coordination and input from others if you plan on eating with your family.

Then, make a shopping list and buy all the ingredients you will need. Do you know the feeling of looking in the fridge and cupboard trying to figure out what you can make out of milk, re-fried beans and ketchup? Say goodbye to that feeling! You'll have everything you need in stock and ready to go. Remember the feeling of nothing sounding good and ending up debating for an hour about what you should eat? Say goodbye to that feeling too! You've already made the decision. Things will come up and schedules will need to change, but that's okay. You can adapt to what life throws at you while staying in control of your own destiny. 

Of course, you may have the whole dinner thing under control already, or you're like me and have a spouse who already cooks delicious meals for you. If that's the case, choose something else. Choose whatever activity or area of your life that causes you more stress than it should. Then make a proactive plan to tame it. This will offer you stability and build your confidence in planning. That feeling of helplessness will fade and be replaced with the empowerment that comes with knowing you are in control of your life.

Don't Quit

Don't Quit

by: Unknown Author

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out:
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Poem found at www.beyondthequote.com

Don't give up today. You've come too far and have come too close to give up now. You may not be able to see the finish line, but it's there. It may even be closer than you think. Keep going. You can do it.

Memory Lane

It’s never a good idea to live in the past, but it’s a great place to visit. Here are some of my favorite things to encounter while strolling down Memory Lane.

Snapshots of happy people. I never take pictures of myself doing taxes or the laundry, so my photo album provides me with a wonderfully distorted view of my life. In an album, my life is only parties, picnics, reunions, and milestones.

Worries about problems long since resolved. Reading past journal entries helps put the present in perspective. My worries about finding love, passing chemistry, and choosing a career now give me great happiness with the knowledge that I FOUND love, PASSED chemistry (barely), and HAVE a career. One day my current worries will also be in the past. Not everything will go as I expect or hope, but I’ll adapt, and everything will be okay.

Identity. Who we were doesn’t determine who we are or will be, but it’s still a part of us. Remembering the lessons I’ve learned (usually the hard way) gives me a sense of who I am and why I have the values, priorities, and goals I have.

Renewed gratitude, love, and respect. What would I do without my wife? I take her for granted too often, so reading emails from when we were dating, looking at pictures of our wedding, and admiring the home we’ve built together restores the appreciation I should always have.

Money. Remember last winter when I put $20 in my coat pocket? Me neither, but I must have done it because there it is now! I wonder if past me intentionally left this as a future windfall.

So, for this week’s ten minute fix, take your own stroll down Memory Lane. Dust off the photo albums, journals, home movies, keepsakes, or winter coats and take a trip to the best parts of your past.

Earl-aye in the Morning

I also forget what I better not do when Santa Clause is coming to town.I always figure a little bit of pouting is fine, only to find a lump of coal Christmas morning. Darn that list. If he only checked once I could probably slip by.

Little Coach Vaughn: Counting to Three

Don't let that innocent smile fool you. I could be an angry little kid. I’d throw tantrums and tackle my friends if I got mad. At one point (sometime around the third or fourth grade) I decided this behavior wasn’t something I wanted to continue. It was a conscious decision I remember making. I wanted to be calm, easy going, and...nice. To get my temper under control, I started counting to three. It worked, and here’s why I think it did.

Before counting to three, I not only had to recognize that I was losing my temper, but I also had to remember I had a goal to be more composed. Recognition is the first step in controlling a behavior. Without it you’ll find yourself making the same mistakes over and over again. Remembering your goal is the second step. It provides you with the choice, “do I give in to my normal behavior or do I work towards my goal?” Without that choice, you will do what you have always done, even if you will regret it later.

Counting to three gave me time to consider consequences. I remember one time being very angry with my friend Garrett. We were eating lunch at school and he started making fun of me for being mistaken about the glow in the dark properties of caterpillar blood (I don’t know what I was thinking). As I counted to myself, I considered my options. I could get angry and make fun of Garrett’s rat tail or MC Hammer parachute pants (which I thought were awesome) or I could laugh it off and continue with lunch. I knew getting angry and making fun of him would only result in a comeback that would make me even angrier. I chose to laugh it off and I never regretted it.

Counting to three also gave me time to put myself in the other person’s shoes. I realized that most of the time I lost my temper due to an accident or misunderstanding. Considering the feelings of my friend went a long way in calming me down.

My friends noticed the change. One time Garrett accidentally kicked me in the face while we were playing wrestling on the trampoline. The look on Garrett’s face was 50% worry about me and 50% worry about what I was going to do to him. When my only response was, “I’m okay. I know you didn’t mean to”, the look on his face changed to 20% relief and 80% utter surprise.

This decision I made in elementary school stuck with me until college when biochemistry exams unleashed my anger once again. Now I need to start counting to three again as I reprogram my behavior to one of patience and understanding.

Developing Self-Discipline

How can I develop self discipline? 

I love this question. Self discipline is something few of us genuinely seek after, but we should. It’s easy to think of it as captivity, but in reality, it’s freedom. It frees us from moods, cravings, whims, and addictions, which cause us far too much regret in life. So how do you develop it? Just try it. 

A part of self discipline is delaying pleasure, or making a sacrifice in exchange for some future reward. An obvious example is giving up that piece of cake and night in front of the TV in exchange for exercise, more energy, and rock hard abs. So you can start by denying yourself something. 

Give up a guilty pleasure or bad habit for a specified amount of time. You could give up TV, caffeine, sugar, Facebook, bar fights, or anything else that will be difficult. The harder it is the better (within reason). As you do this you’ll learn about yourself. Why do you give into temptation? What gives you strength to resist temptation? How does it feel to overcome a craving? 

After your designated time, try again with something else. This time use what you learned from your first experiment. As you continue to practice and learn you’ll be better prepared for more long term and complicated goals. Things like saving for retirement, or lowering cholesterol take a long time and can’t be achieved by simply not spending any more money, or not eating any cholesterol ever again. There are a lot of gray areas that will be left to your interpretation in the moment. While working on these goals always look for reasons TO keep your goal, rather than reasons to NOT keep it. With this outlook you’ll avoid justification, which is the enemy of self discipline. 

Don’t say, “I’ve worked hard, so I deserve a cookie”, because YOU DON’T DESERVE IT! What you deserve is the benefits of working out! You deserve a healthy weight, more energy, and a positive self image! Justification will destroy everything you’ve worked for if you allow it to.

Good luck in this endeavor. With self mastery comes confidence that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. There will be obstacles in your path, but you'll at least know that you never put any of those obstacles there yourself. 

Have a Question? I want to hear it! Write in in the box and click submit. It's that easy!

The Winner!

Thank you to everyone who participated in the Dinner and a Movie Giveaway. It helped me get the word out about life coaching and what this blog has to offer. So, without further delay...

.....

....

....

....

....

....

I'm building suspense...

....

....

....

Congratulations, Mandy! You'll be receiving an email from me later today with information about your prize! I hope to host more giveaways in the future, so keep a look out!

If you didn't win, here's a consolation video. Enjoy!

Love Languages: Shotgun Style

Disclaimer: This ten minute fix is written as advice for a husband (cause we need it), but is easily adaptable to a wife as well. 

Have you heard of the five love languages? If not, here's a watered down summary.

Everyone is different and everyone prefers to receive and express love in a different way.  These preferences are catagorized into five love languages.

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

If you show love by buying gifts, but your spouse only understands love through quality time and words of affirmation, you'll both be frustrated and confused. You'll think, "How can she say I don't love her? I buy her flowers, chocolates, and jewelry. Of course I love her!" She'll think, "How can he love me if he comes home and goes straight to the TV, ignores me, and never says a nice thing about me?"

Feel free to stop by the library or Amazon to pick up a copy of the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman or check out www.5lovelanguages.com to learn more and take a quiz to find out your spouse's love language. But for now - just for fun - let's try a different approach: The Shotgun Approach.

Here's the challenge. In ten minutes, express your love to your spouse using all five love languages. The plan is to fire a point blank shotgun blast of love that has no way of missing her specific love languages (I never meant for that to sound so violent, but let's go with it). What's more, the other love languages will have more meaning to her when in context with her specific language. Giving her a dozen roses and then watching sports for three hours may not mean much to her, but giving her roses in the context of an evening of quality time spent together will mean the world to her.

You can have more than ten minutes to prepare, but the execution needs to take place in a ten minute time frame. So in ten minutes you have to sincerely...

Tell her how much she means to you
Make the ten minutes true quality time
Give her a gift
Serve her
Give her a big hug and a kiss

After the ten minutes are over you can go back to watching football. NOT! The hope is that as you focus your mental and emotional energy on the feelings you have for your wife, you'll be inspired to once again do whatever you can to make her feel loved and appreciated.

Later, talk to your spouse about love languages and have an open discussion about how you each prefer to receive love. You'll hopefully avoid a lot of frustration and greatly improve the feeling of love in your relationship. If you want more help figuring out communication in your marriage or just want you and your spouse to be on the same page, sign up for couples coaching. You'll receive a free introductory session and affordable rates as you build a framework for a better marriage together.

A Calorific Dream

Carl's Jr should start doing this. They could charge over $20 for a burger, fries, and a shake! And when you use a coupon it means they leave off the bacon.

DIY: Magnetic Spice Rack

Don't forget to enter the giveaway! Now enjoy this guest post by my wife!

DIY Under-The-Cupboard Magnetic Spice Rack

After over a year of Coach Kyle working on this blog, he finally let me--his wife!--guest post.  (And don't worry, I don't call him Coach).  He asked me to share a tutorial with you that has helped us save money and stay organized in one small aspect of our home--the kitchen.  Specifically, the spice cabinet.

For a while, we were looking for a new solution to storing spices.  We had a ton of spice jars thrown onto a lazy susan in a corner cupboard, but it just wasn't working.  It was hard to find the spice I was looking for, and I ended up doubling up on some spices in error.  Not only that, but we found out how cheap spices can be at Winco, where you can buy them in little bags and put in your own containers at home.  We needed to figure out a way to do that!  After some looking around online (mostly on Pinterest), we combined multiple ideas and tweaked them just a little bit to suit our home and needs.

Materials:
Baby food jars  (saved from months of feeding our 1 year old)
Strong magnets (We got ours at Joanns)
16 gauge strap (strip of metal with screw holes) (Cheap at Home Depot)
Chalkboard {or any other} paint (again, from Joanns)
Chalk/paint pen
Goo Gone or similar adhesive remover
Painter's tape

1. Clean and wash your jars.  We ripped off the label pretty easily, but we needed Goo Gone to get rid of the remaining adhesive. Put through the dishwasher as many times as necessary to convince you there are no remaining mushed peas and squash to taint your spices.

2. Tape your jar about halfway down around the sides.  This way, you have enough room to write the name of the spice, but can still see the colorful spices all in a row.

3. Paint the lower half and bottom of the jars. It will take several coats (at least, it did for us) and you have to let it cure and then condition it if you're using chalkboard paint. Just use the instructions that come with it. You can paint your lids too, if you feel like it. When everything is dry, remove the tape. That's always my favorite part.

4. Use a very strong glue to affix a magnet to each lid.

5. While waiting for the magnets to set, screw the 16 gauge metal strap into the underside of your chosen cupboard, or use Liquid Nails if the screws will interfere with your food storage.

This is what we used, but any magnetic strip of metal will work.

6. In the meantime, fill your jars with spices. Write the name of the spice on each jar.  I used chalk originally, but every time I picked up a jar the chalk would wipe off.  I switched to a paint pen and was pleased with the results.

7. Stick up your jars!  The magnets are strong enough to hold the jars--we have encountered zero problems so far.

Our spices are neat and in alphabetical order, of course.  They are easy to locate and grab. And I think they look cute out in the open!

Thanks for reading! It's been a pleasure to share this tutorial with you.

Keep on keepin' on!

Mrs. Coach Kyle)

Online Life Coaching?

 Don't forget to enter the Dinner and a Movie Giveaway Here! Ends Saturday!

"You mentioned online life coaching yesterday. What's the deal with that?"

Okay, I'll admit that no one asked this question, but someone easily could have :)

I'm just really excited to tell everyone about it. 90% of life coaching in the United States is done over the phone. The problem is that more and more people feel less and less comfortable talking on the phone. With texting, chat, and email, phone conversations are becoming less common. My purpose in providing life coaching online is to make this life changing service accessible to anyone who feels more comfortable at a computer than on a phone.

The setup and results are the same as coaching by phone. The only difference is that the weekly 45-60 minute session will take place through chat. Sessions are still confidential and secure, with the added security of not being overheard as you discuss personal goals and challenges. All you need is a stable internet connection to participate. You don't have to watch your cell phone minutes or battery life. You'll also be able to save a record of your session to review later. No more juggling your phone as you try to take notes about your plans for the coming week.

Another advantage is that if you sign up for online coaching and use the special offer code "Online Intro" you'll get 30% off of any online personal coaching service. 

If you're feeling the desire to make big changes for the better in your life or you just aren't sure what to do with your life, sign up for a free introductory session to see how coaching can help you. I'm a certified life coach with the training and experience to guide you as you make your own decisions and work towards your own goals. I'd love to work with you soon. Click here to get started! I guarantee you won't regret it.

Dinner and a Movie Giveaway!

It's our 100th post! It's also Motivation Monday and what's more motivating than free stuff? That's why Vaughn Life Coaching is having a giveaway week. You can get up to four entries into a drawing for dinner and a movie for two! This prize will take the form of a $20 gift card for Cinemark and a $30 gift card at any Darden Restaurant (Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Longhorn Steakhouse, Bahama Breeze, Seasons 52). You have through Saturday to enter and the winner of the drawing will be announced next Monday.

Here are the ways you can enter.

1. Leave a comment on this post
2. "Like" Vaughn Life Coaching on Facebook
3. Post a link to this giveaway on Facebook
4. Blog about the giveaway

For each entry you need to leave a comment on this post letting me know that you did it. It's important that you leave a separate comment for each entry and include your email address so I can contact you if you win. So, if you blog about the giveaway just say, "I blogged about it! and You're awesome!- supercool@neato.com " or something like that. If you already "like" Vaughn Life Coaching on Facebook you can still enter. Just leave a comment letting me know.

In addition to the drawing above, anyone who signs up for at least 1 month of life coaching this week will receive a free leather bound journal to record their thoughts, plans, and progress. Just use the special offer code Journal when you sign up. You can also sign up for Online Life Coaching and receive 30% off by using the special offer code Online Intro.