Ten Minute Fix: The Junk Drawer

We all have one of these delightful drawers. It's a catch all for everything that doesn't have a place. Unfortunately, as time goes on, the amount of junk exceeds the capacity of the drawer and it becomes a place where things go to be lost forever. So, whenever you find yourself trying to stuff a double A battery that may or may not have any juice left into a drawer that may or may not contain a family of raccoons, it's time for this week's Ten Minute Fix.

Here's my junk drawer. It is home to things like a "welcome home" banner that we bought, but never used. Maybe whoever it was for never came home...? That's unsettling.

The fist step, of course is to empty the drawer completely. Take it all out. Don't hold back. This isn't the time for sentimentality.

Now that the drawer is empty for the first time since you moved in, take the opportunity to grab a rag and your favorite household cleaner to wipe out all the dust and raccoon droppings. Now that you have a clean slate, put back everything you use regularly or would like to have on hand for any time you do need it. The thing about drawers is they provide convenient and accessible storage for things we need. If you don't know what it is, or only use it once a year for the St.Patrick's day parade, it belongs in a box - not a drawer.

Okay, now we're to the hard part. Stay strong! First, there's bound to be plenty of stuff that can go directly into the trash. If you didn't miss it for the three years it was in that drawer, you probably don't need it. Of course there are some of those "maybe one day" items that you'll probably never use, but you know as soon as you throw it away a need will make itself known. If you really can't think of where to put them, a box in a closet is at least better than a drawer in your kitchen. For everything else, find a place, and put it away. Designate a place for batteries, miscellaneous nuts and bolts, business cards for businesses you'll never give your business to,  chargers for devices you probably don't even have any more, and wild animals that you've grown attached to.





So, my drawer ended up being a utility drawer, containing items I often have to grab for a quick project, but I'm  realistic. It's going to be a junk drawer again in a few months. That's okay though! Junk drawers are great. I'll just need to do another Ten Minute Fix around this time next year.

Video: Try Something New for 30 Days

Great talk on getting out of ruts and forming new habits.

Ticked Off

What should you do when you're angry? .....Pray.

According to a recent study - HERE'S A LINK - praying reduces anger by allowing you to view situations from a new perspective. This new perspective allows you to take things less personally and experience empathy for others.

In one of the experiments subjects were asked to rank their feelings (including anger), and then write about an event that had made them angry recently. Afterwards they were told an unseen partner would evaluate the essay. There was no partner; however, and the participants received very negative evaluations with comments like, "This is one of the worst essays I have ever read!"

After being angered, the students were asked to read an article about a student with a rare form of cancer and think about her situation. Then half of the participants were asked to think about the student for five minutes and the other half were asked to pray for the student for five minutes.

The participants who prayed were significantly less angry than those who simply thought about the student.

I don't mean to present this as proof that God exists, but I also don't mean to present this as proof that He DOESN'T exist. I think that for those of us who believe in God, this is another example that in addition to divine intervention, following His counsel and commandments can also have immediate, natural consequences that bless our lives.

So, say a prayer. Pray for your family, or the person who angered you and you'll find that the feelings of resentment will fade away and leave you with a more accurate view of the world.

“Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.” -- Buddha

Ten Minute Fix: Listen

Echoic memory has saved my hide more times than I can remember. Let's say I'm sitting here writing this blog and my wife comes in and starts talking to me about our plans to hang out with some friends next week. Well, I'm in the middle of some brilliant synthesis that can't be postponed so I for some reason decide that the best thing to do is keep on typing and saying "uh huh" every once in a while. Inevitably the question, "Are you listening to me?" will be asked. Thanks to echoic memory, which we all have, I am able to recall 3-4 seconds of auditory information. So even though I wasn't listening when she said, "and don't forget the ice. It's really important." I am able to stop recall the last 3 seconds and respond, "Of course I'm listening. I won't forget the ice. I know how important it is." I have no idea when, where, or why this ice will be used, but she'll tell me again later...right?

This Ten Minute Fix is meant to give your echoic memory a break and practice LISTENING to people you're speaking with. It's simple. 

Dedicate ten minutes to listening carefully to what someone is saying. 

What is their body language telling you? Why are they saying what they're saying? What questions can you ask to gain a deeper understanding of their message?

Here are some tips to being a good listener that you can employ during these ten minutes.

1. Remove any distractions. Turn off the TV. Move away from the computer. Put down the chainsaw.
2. Make eye contact, but don't stare.
3. Keep your mouth shut. As the listener, you are only allowed to speak if you are summarizing what they said to make sure you understand, reassuring the speaker, or asking meaningful questions. Unless it's asked of you, now is not the time to share your own similar experiences. If you do share an experience, keep it brief and redirect the attention to the speaker.
4. Listen between the lines for what isn't being said directly.
5. Concentrate. Don't think about what you want to say later, and don't judge or criticize the speaker in your mind. 
6. Avoid any phrases that can make light of a problem. "It's not that bad", "You'll get over it", "Other people have it a lot worse".
7. Focus all your effort on making them feel understood and appreciated.